10 categories of people you will find in Nigerian banks

In every Nigerian bank you go to, you meet different kinds of people with different purpose. Nigeria banks are always very crowded and you wonder why so many people are always in the bank.

The kind of people you find in a Nigerian bank can be funny, you might not be able to laugh at that moment but something keeps reminding you of whatever you must have seen in the bank.


These are the sets of people I bet you will find in a Nigerian bank:

1. The “battle kings”
When there is no one inside the door and coincidentally two people wants to enter from both inside the bank and outside. They will keep pressing the buttons vigorously like a game pad..

2. The “pen borrowers”
These people never go to the bank with a pen in hand, hoping to borrow from other customers. These people are quite dangerous in the sense that, once you borrow them the pen, you might find it difficult to identify them. If someone in a Nigerian bank asks you, “Can I have your pen?”, that might just be the last time you will see that pen.

3. The “master delayers”
They come to the bank to deposit very huge amounts of money, delaying others in the process. And you’ll start blaming yourself, “God why did I queue behind this man?” These people make those who came to deposit or withdraw lesser amounts of money (like ten thousand naira or less) ask God why bad things happen to good people. And others might even start begging, “Bros abeg, na 3k I wan pay, let dem attend to me.”

4. The “no protocol” team
This kind of people don’t obey the first-come-first-serve rule. They are influential customers who feel they are too big to join the queue. Once they enter the bank, they just walk up to the cashier or manager who then asks them to sit down. Within 5 minutes they have completed their transactions and are on their way out, while you are still waiting on the queue.

5. The “bank door rejectees”
These people will always have a problem with the bank entrance scanner. You’ll see them removing their belts, car keys, mobile phones, etc. and yet the machine keeps turning them back. Then you’ll start wondering if they actually swallowed a metal object.

6. The “escortees”
These set of people have nothing to do in the Nigeria bank, they always accompany someone to the bank; maybe they are just coming to enjoy the air condition or to take selfie.

7. The “exile people”
These people make you wonder if they had been in exile or had just landed from another planet. Why? They will always ask for the date. Even if you tell them, they try to confirm from one to two other people.

8. The “I dey your back” crew
Immediately these people enter the bank, the first thing they do is to find out the last person on the queue and tell that person, “Sorry, I am at your back”. Such people could be very mischievous, as they can say the same to about 3 o more different people, thereby causing confusion on the queue.

9. The “slip wasters”
These people waste bank deposit and withdrawal slips like tissue paper. You’ll  see them cancelling, tearing, and squeezing the slips and taking another one. They cannot write simple figures in Naira without making mistakes. To write common 3785 naira in words na gobe. It’s a pity that most people within this category are the so-called “educated” ones.

10. The “rest room users”
These set of people go to the Nigeria banks just to use the rest room and nothing more.

Which category do you usually belong to? And what other categories of people do you meet in Nigerian banks? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment.